There is a disease among adolescents right now. A crazy disease, that turns them into frothing freaks, leaping around, slapping random strangers and pissing in public fountains. It makes them speak in gibberish, and often causes violent outbursts. These outbursts often paired up with bubbling hormones, making them into feral mutant beasts that no one wants to be around. The disease is called “being a teenager” and it is far more serious than it has ever been before. Good news, though. There is a cure. You need to get in there, quick and early, for it to have any impact. The cure? All teenagers need a smack in the face. Seriously. That’s it. It really is that simple. You just get them before they get you. First blood, I like to call it. It really shakes them up and puts them in their place. Keep in mind, I am aware this article is a glaring reflection of me getting old, and I am okay with that. Young people suck now. For the first time in my life, being old seems cooler.