People have asked me in my life, time and time again, why I don’t do stand up comedy. And my answer is simple. I truly believe stand up is one of the toughest gigs in the world. And I am genuinely afraid I would snap and kill and audience member if they yelled the wrong thing. That may seem irrational, but have you ever done stand up? It is brutal. Why? Because if you are an unknown comic, all people approach it the same way. The start off hating you and assuming you suck, until you prove yourself. And if they don’t like you, they tend to just yell it and let you know. If you think you need to have strong skin to run an internet site (TROLLLLSSSSS), it is ten times worse when the people are right there, hurling the insults in your face. The true comedian will not skip a beat, though. And they live for those sort of moments when some drunken asshole yells out the wrong thing, just so that can turn it around and make the heckler look like the idiot they are. Here are seven ego bruising examples of the guys in the limelight justifiably destroying their hecklers.

Mitch Hedberg 

I am sorry, but I still feel like the passing of Mitch Hedberg was like some cruel joke that I have yet to wake up from.

Gone, but never forgotten, my man. Never.

He delivered jokes in such a way that, it you breathed too loud, you missed one. But that was the beauty, a rapid fire succession of jokes that were simple and humorous at first listen, but the more and more you thought about his bits, the more they became ingrained in your memory. The burrito bit. The potato bit. The photograph bit. Every single one was hilarious.

And I think when faced with a heckler, it shows just how quick-witted some of these guys were. Check out how Mitch handled it all.

Although, when the guy first comes to the stage, you can tell Mitch thinks he is about to get stabbed for a second and almost runs away.

Do you think YOU would be calm and cool enough to give your stage over to someone who, just minutes before, was messing with you? Not many people would. Yeah, that is what makes Mitch so amazing. He just existed, regardless of what anyone thought. He was a brilliant comic mind, and as this proves, just a genuine guy. Which somehow makes his passing all the more tragic.

Joe Rogan

You may think Joe Rogan might be a meat head as a result of his association with Fear Factor and the UFC, but if you thought that, you would be wrong. He is actually an incredibly intelligent guy, who probably knows more about drugs and meditation than you or I.

DOOM and bong rips? Yeah, we would get along.

And on top of that, it is clips like this that make it INCREDIBLY hard not to like the guy. He takes his “Bro-Guy-Dude” demographic and shits all over it. Learning Joe Rogan hates the “BRO” as much as I do caused my respect for the guy to triple. And in top of the diss, he will literally kick your ass if it gets to it, so that kind of makes it cooler. He won’t take it there, but he will finish it if he has to.

Knowing he buys Mighty Mouse shirts when he is stoned only makes him cooler and more relevant to me.

I love the idea that some people leave the house and decide, of ALL the people they could heckle, they want to go to a Joe Rogan show and make fun of his shirt. Again, a well executed plan. And proof that not all humans have evolved past slug-like-thinking.

Bo Burnham

I like Bo, yo. I can admit it.

He may look sweet, but this video proves you shouldn’t cross him.

Rarely are song comedians funny to me. It takes the perfect balance of wit and charisma to pull it off. And though young, Bo Burnham has proved he has what it takes.

Rising to fame as the result of self made promotion on Youtube, he may be young (21 years old now, but 18 at the time of this video) but this video shows what happen when even the most meek and mild-mannered comedians get pushed too far by that one person who doesn’t know when to stop.

Seriously though, who heckles an 18-year-old kid who is just following his dreams? 

It is like these people sit in the audience and and just brood that they’re not the ones getting all the attention. I love it when the comedians “snap” and finally tell them how f*cking anonying they are, at their own expense. Well played, Bo. You showed the humor and composure of a comedian thrice your age. We said thrice. That word is awesome.

Bill Hicks

I love this man. I have said it, many times, and will continue to. Bill Hicks was one of the greatest minds who ever lived during our lifetime. Was the sentence redundant? Yes, it just might have been. As is running theme of “Vote Bill Hicks for God!” campaign that I secretly pitch isn’t old at this point, too?

Yeah, this pretty much sums it up best.

And one of the things that made Bill Hicks so remarkable was just how passionate he was. Especially about stupid people and how much he despised them. And with good reason, stupid people suck. Here, one such stupid person gets what’s coming to them, Bill Hicks style.

We live in a sad world when somehow these hecklers are still alive, and Bill Hicks died of cancer. That’s a joke no one is laughing at, life.

You know, I take back what I said in that caption just now. We hope that these hecklers ARE still alive. We hope they are old and miserable, and every few weeks, we hope they stumble on the clip of them being decimated by Bill Hicks. Because it’s the greatest moment a derivative moron like that will ever experience in their otherwise meaningless life. Actually, we take it back, again. Life, you gave the wrong person cancer in that room. Seriously.

Louis CK

Alright, no one would heckle this guy right now, so this may be old and a sort of ‘dramatic reenactment’, but still. I really think Louis CK is the shit, and had to include him on this list.

Look how skeptical he is of being here.

I fully realize that clip is a re-telling of his heckler story for his FX show, but still. Anyone familiar with the comedian and just how far he pushes things know this is probably 99% accurate. Note the discomfort in the room when he takes it almost TOO far. Makes it even better.

He unleashes a tirade on her that would make a pirate blush like a robot after sex with an amazon. 

Like we said, no one would dare heckle Louis CK now, but boy do we wish there was some real footage of when this occurred. Something tells us the actual woman he was yelling at wouldn’t have remained so composed.

Um, This Guy

Thing is, I have no idea who this guy is. Pretty sure he may have hung himself after this.

I like how you can tell he is psychotic and had a mental break, and quickly tries to get the audience on his side. To no avail. 

It is funny how quickly the vibe in the room changes. They laugh at first when he lifts it menacingly. They must have been thinking: Silly comedian, acting like it is Ok to hurt peo..HOLY SHIT, HE DID IT!!!

Kevin Smith

I know he is not a comedian, thus the title of the article. But there is no denying that, in two minutes, Kevin Smith accurately dissects the whole basis of why a heckler does what they do, and in the same breath, he destroys the heckler themselves. It is beautiful because Kevin knows he is with his people, and that this motherf*cker has no chance. And he didn’t.

This needs to be the new template for how to handle a heckler with finesse.

With this video, as with most of these, the best moment is when the audience turns on the heckler. Why? Because the heckler is IN that audience. They now have to sit and deal with the people around them snickering and laughing and pointing. Tell me THAT isn’t the greatest revenge of all. When your own people turn on you as a result of your assholery.

Good, I hope someone tripped them on the way out of these shows, too.