You know, for as long as I lived, I never thought this would happen, yet it just happened. In Colorado and Washington, Marijuana was just legalized. Do you understand what this means? Resident of those two states who partake in casual marijuana use no longer have to hide their habit away like some crack head. Sneaking hits near open windows so some shitty samaritan doesn’t call the police. This is a huge moment to be an American. I mean, how many people do you know that smoked weed and then went and shot someone? And how many people smoke weed and then cause a car accident? You never hear about that, because that never happens. And it seems like the world is starting to finally wise up a bit about it. Gone are the 1970′s health class ideals that marijuana is some devil herb that will cause your life to derail. Now, let it be noted that I do not live in either of the states were Marijuana was just legalized, but as voting has shown before, Washington and Colorado are two states that often set the tone for the rest of the Country when it comes to major decisions such as these, so we can only hop that is the case here in Massachusetts. But wait, they yell! It is decriminalized and available for medical consumption there now! Yes, but in Massachusetts there is always fine print.
Funny thing about Massachusetts, where I currently reside, marijuana has been decriminalized for some time. But the odd thing about that is, you can be caught carrying up to an ounce, and you won’t get arrested, but if you are caught taking ONE HIT, you still will be. So what Massachusetts is saying is you can have it, but you can’t smoke it. Am I the only one who sees how insane that is? Let me explain further. A cop could pull me over, with a baggy full of weed on my lap, and as long as it was an ounce or under, he would only give me a ticket. But if that same officer pulled me over and all I had was a half smoked joint and weed on my breath, I could get arrested. That’s some funny-ass law-making, if you ask me.
Here, we have marijuana. You just aren’t allowed to smoke it.
And in a bid that is even MORE confusing, Massachusetts passed the medicinal marijuana laws, too. But here is the kicker: You pretty much have to be dying. Like, honestly, dying. Hepatitis c, HIV, and Multiple Sclerosis. I know a girl in California who got a perscription for marijuana because the shoes she wore at work hurt her feet. That is not a joke or anything. I LITERALLY know a girl who legally smokes weed in California because her fucking feet hurt. And now, in Massachusetts, I have to be dying of nine diseases to be able to legally SMOKE it. Don’t get me wrong. I can carry massive amounts on my person, but God forbid I take a hit. At that point, S.W.A.T will raid my fucking building. Again, to reiterate, an ounce (a baggy 3/4 full, give or take) is just fine. But a half-smoked joint will get you thrown in the clink.
And people wonder why I am sometimes hate this state.
The state itself is quite lovely, but the laws are all fucked up.
But understand, this article is not about Massachusetts and it’s wacky, strange way of doing things. No, this article is about how forward-thinking Washington and Colorado were in allowing marijuana to be legalized in their respective states. Now understand, this is a KEY moment for my generation X crowd, who have been debating and arguing this point for years. I was one of the people who THOUGHT he knew the agenda and figured I would never, ever see this happen in my lifetime, and yet here I am. Standing, staring at this picture, thinking, wow. The world is changing, and for the first time, I don’t feel like it is for the worst.
Dear Colorado, I will be moving to you shortly.
It should also be said that there is some fine print that goes along with the legalization. Namely, limiting how much one person can produce and distribute, and taxing it. Yes, marijuana will be taxed in said states, but how that fully plays out remains to be seen. This means that you will most likely able to buy a pack of joints next to a pack of cigarettes. And stores that want to sell marijuana will simply need a license as easy to obtain as a liquor license.
While Colorado will be the more lenient state of the two, the main prerequisite will be that you have to be age twenty one to purchase and smoke marijuana, and I am quite sure similar rules to alcohol will be placed on it. In other words, people will be smoking at certain pre-ordained establishments, but certain things, like driving under the influence, will still be seriously penalized, which is how it should be. But still, do you realize how progressive this is?
Okay, so he may not be our best spokesman.
The funniest thing about this is you could tell through various social media outlets that the truest stoners thought this was a joke when they first saw it posted. There are more “is this a joke from The Onion?” reactions than you would’ve thought. Even me, last night, when I saw it had happened, still refused to react or post a comment about it in fear that some evil Republican was punking us all and getting off on filling people with false hope, which is what those sick bastards do so well. Alas, it was true, and I am still reeling. I do have one thought, though. In Colorado and Washington, will they now release all the people who were (wrongly) imprisoned on simple marijuana charges, seeing as to how it is now legal? Keeping them in jail at this point would seem counter-productive, expensive, and cruel, don’t you think? How that plays out will be interesting to see.
Also, let’s not forget, I am still in Massachusetts and am not (technically) dying, so little has changed for me. Ah, sweet Massachusetts. The state where it is okay to have a huge bag of weed, you just aren’t allowed to smoke it unless you are dying of AIDS. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to go find a used needle to shoot up with before I have unprotected sex with a dirty hooker. Both acts which will, hopefully, get me one step closer to being able to smoke the stuff legally around here.
Girls who smoke weed are the greatest girls of all.
All kidding aside, I can only say us what I feel right now, which is:
AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!