Movie Soundtracks from The Eighties

My love for all things 1980′s knows no boundaries. And nowhere is that love more apparent than when I watch eighties movies. From the hilarious outfits to the out-of-date references, I just find it as endearing as wrapping up in a favorite blanket. And one essential thing that all eighties movies had was an anthem.  That one song, played at that one perfect moment, that pretty much defined the film. Thing is, if you look back now, some of this stuff sucks. But that is where the joy lays, my friends. In the fact that the sucky, awkward, 80′s were awesome for that exact reason. Here are seven songs most rational people act like they don’t like, but we all know better. It’s actually eight songs, but that last song is not so much a song as it is a curse on the ears that will haunt you until death.

Cyndi Lauper: The Goonies “R” Good Enough (The Goonies)

Sad part is, I STILL want to be a Goonie.

Everyone admits they love the movie now that it’s cool and gives people nerd cred, but still, very few people admit they love the song. But if you REALLY loved the movie, than you know the word to this entire song and you sing the shit out of it on the rare occasion it comes on, just like me. Good news, now,with this list, it comes on whenever you want it to.

I also feel the need to give Cyndi Lauper props for having the Goonies In the video. It was like the unofficial sequel I never got. It just hit me that this list is like I am making you the ultimate 80′s soundtrack playlist you can listen to or watch whenever you want.

How cool is that?

Huey Lewis: The Power Of Love (Back To The Future)

American Psycho made it cool to like Huey Lewis, but you had to kill people to rationalize it.

The Back To The Future movies are so fun and enjoyable, that when you hear this song, it sort of takes you back to that feeling of seeing them, even though the band playing the anthem is so white that even white bread makes fun of them. This is another ones of those songs that comes on and people sort of shy away. But when it comes on and you’re drunk, you have no problem yelling out that “This is my Jam!!!” and then falling down after trying to jump on a table to lip sync it.

I say live with no regrets, my friends.

El Debarge: Who’s Johnny (Short Circuit)

This is the best courtroom drama I have ever seen, outside of A Few Good Men.

In a perfect world, all movies would star Steve Guttenberg and feature sass-talking robots and soundtracks by El Debarge. Hey, I am just saying what we’re all thinking. Also, let it be known that this video somehow had enough swagger that it got the lead singer of El Debarge inside Janet Jackson. Seriously, she married this dude. THAT’S the power of love. Oh wait, wrong movie.

Also, I feel compelled to tell you that, for most of my youth, I thought this band’s name translated to: Hey, A Boat.

Yeah, I was a pretty dumb kid.

Simple Minds: Don’t You Forget About Me (Breakfast Club)

Alright, this one actually has some credibility, but I had to include it, regardless.

Listen, you can say what you want about me, but I found out something about myself while doing this article. I found out that, inside me, there is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. And if you guys don’t understand that reference, game over, man. Game over….

That was two references, for the record.

Berlin: Take My Breath Away (Top Gun)

I really think it took balls to make a movie about homosexual pilots in a time when that lifestyle was still vastly misunderstood.

Okay, out of all the movies on this list, I will admit, this is my least favorite. Not because of the gay stuff, though. The gay stuff makes it a pretty compelling watch. No, rather, it is not as profound, nor as insane, as any other movie on this list. But no one can deny that there is a part of us that immediately recognizes that opening riff from this song. And normally, when people are around, we just kind of smile and acknowledge the song. But when people aren’t around, we sing into hair brushes and shit. Seriously, don’t even play. We both know you do it. And it is fine. You are here because we are all just like you, you are not alone. I promise.

Patrick Swayze: She’s Like The Wind (Dirty Dancing)

Make fun of me about this if you want, but NOBODY puts Remy in a corner…

Alright, listen, we need to cut the shit. We need to stop pretending this DIDN’T happen. It happened, okay?! Patrick Swayze sang us all one of the most tender love songs EVER, and then he crawled off and died of Cancer. It is the saddest story ever, and people are in denial about it. Do you even understand what he was saying?! She’s like the f*cking wind, dude. She is everywhere, and you can’t hold her down, but you can stop to admire her scope, and the way she tussles your perfect hair. Swayze? More like Swayzespeare!

Yeah, so not only was he dancing his way into our hearts, but he was singing his way in there, too. Rest well, sweet Swayze angel. May Heaven be your dirty dancing partner, now….

If you are female, and look directly at this pic, there is a 86% chance you are pregnant right now. Seriously.

(Dis)Honorable Mention:

This cursed song I have not been able to get out of my head for twenty-plus years. I refuse to even post the song, it is like The Nothing, it will destroy us all.

Wow, it’s like a more feminine version of Jareth from Labyrinth, which I would not have thought possible.