Five Very F*cked Up Movies Streaming On Netflix, Right Now (as of 6/25/14)
We REMlins have very distinct taste when it comes to the movies we like. When I was thinking up what to name this article, I realized there is no need to sugar coat it. We like f*cked up movies. We like movies that lumber around inside our brains for weeks after we see them, making us uneasy and uncomfortable. We like movies that show us that our own lives are pretty tame, even though we think they are as f*cked up as it gets. We like movies that rape certain parts of our brain we are not normally allowed to even use. I am sure some of you have noticed I have been doing a lot of Netflix lists lately, and there is a pretty solid reason for that. Straight up, most people have it. I have told you about documentaries on Netflix and have told you about horror movies on Netflix. I thought it would be a good time to go for a vein and tell you about the really f*cked up movies on Netflix, right now. From guts to sex, these are the flicks I am actually shocked ended up on the provider (but I’m kinda glad they did cuz I am f*cked up, too).
Ichi the Killer
The “blowing smoke through the holes in my face” move is still one of the coolest things I have ever seen a movie character do.
I found Ichi one day a long time ago (at a video store, of all things) and thought the guy with the slit mouth on the cover looked really cool, so I rented it. I had NO idea what I was in for. First of all, I had no idea who Takashi Miike was at the time (director of Audition, to name some of his lighter fair) and I thought I might end up getting a cool action flick with a decent amount of gore. What I did not think I would be getting was a movie that opened up with a the title of the movie spelled out in cum. People sometimes wonder what movie kick started my love for brutal, foreign cinema, and I think it was Ichi. So brutal a film, it has been banned in some countries, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw it available to stream.
Ichi is a film about the Yakuza, but mainly, a film about a really f*cked up guy named Ichi who is really good at killing people. I laugh when people say Kill Bill is violent. Yes, it is in terms of American cinema. But if you look at the movies that partly inspired it (and Takashi Miike is a huge inspiration to Tarantino), you realize that Kill Bill is mild in comparison. Check this flick out, it is insane.
This is the position you will assume on the floor when you find out why she is curled up like that.
You guys know I have talked about Lars Von Trier many times on this site (and others). But honestly, seeing that Antichrist was available on Netflix was shocking to me. Why? Well, at this point, everyone knows about this movie, right? An absolutely engrossing (and at times, gross) movie about how one couple deal with the loss of their child. To put in bluntly, not well. I tell people to see this film because I think it has some of the most stunning cinematography in modern cinema, but I warn them about the last half hour. Good God is it brutal. It fits with the movie, but my God. You cannot unsee some of this stuff.
I read somewhere that there are two words you never want to hear next to each other when someone is explaining a movie scene to you, and those words are blood and cum. This movie has blood cum. If you don’t find that shocking, wait until you see what happens AFTER Willem DaFoe jizzes blood. Gets a lot worse from there.
Shown: my boner being killed for infinity.
Let it be known, now and forever, that I think Emily Browning is the kind of pretty normally reserved for porcelain dolls. I would watch the young lady act in anything, and probably be utterly bewitched by her. So imagine how it felt while I watched a movie that starred Emily Browning as a girl who is paid to be a “sleeping beauty”. What is that, you ask? The above pic should answer your question whilst filling your mouth with vomit.
A sleeping beauty is a girl who is sedated, allows men to do things to her while she is sedated (in a semi-controlled environment, kind of) and then wakes up and walks away with the money. But I now want you to guess the kind of clientele that kind of thing attracts. Again, refer to pic. Very old, very rich, very white men. Like, 85 year olds and shit. As much as I adore Emily Browning, seeing naked old men fondling her perfection while she is passed out can be filed under “f*cked up movies”. The cherry on the cake, you can go watch this flick right now, you sicko. Just don’t expect to get aroused by this film unless you were molested by an old man as a kid and were kind of into it.
I Saw the Devil
The film is called I Saw the Devil. What did you expect, romance? Well if you met my ex…. *rim shot
The revenge sub genre of movies is filled with brutal and brilliant films that explore the complex ideas and repercussions that go along with the very idea of revenge. But in my opinion, outside of the movie Dead Man’s Shoes (which is no longer streaming on Netflix), I think that I Saw the Devil might be the best revenge movie ever made. Yes, I am even talking better than Oldboy. I am sorry, but the remake of that film sucked some of the juice out of Oldboy for me.
But I Saw the Devil is a truly complex cat and mouse game between a killer and a cop seeking revenge. It musters feelings in you movies like this normally don’t. There were times I found myself yelling at the screen, telling the protagonist he was getting too deep into a hole he could not get out of. I am not the kind of person who yells at movies so that should tell you something. I do want to warn you, though. Some of the violence in this South Korean film is up close and brutal. Unforgettably brutal. Which makes it even cooler that it is on Netflix.
Seriously, this is a “faith in humanity” destroying movie. Be aware of that.
Compliance is the worst one on the list, for the simple reason that it is entirely true. What, Remy? What is true? I almost don’t even want to talk about it, that is how messed up it is. Now understand, this movie is f*cked up in a way that is very different from any others on the list. Ichi is almost comically violent and messed up. I Saw the Devil feels real and palpable, but isn’t. Even Sleeping Beauty has no violence at all, but its subject matter is jarring and uncomfortable. But Compliance will make you want to curl up and die because this happened. Again, what happened, you ask?
Some random stranger called a fast food joint and convinced the idiot boss on the line that he was a cop and one of the female workers stole something. What unfolds over the next ninety minutes will get you mad at the world. If you are anything like me, you will assume the movie is a huge exaggeration. Then you will find the real interview (that is remade in the film) as well as the stock footage of the actual event, and a part of you will die. Honestly, it will. Mankind should not be this stupid. You are not even sure who to be the most mad at.
Really, a part of you will die. There is no blood in the movie, the nudity is minor and fleeting, yet it just might be the most f*cked up movie on the list.
So, um, go enjoy!
Then go here and hang out with me. You can tell me which one of these movies you thought was most f*cked up.