I am now going to try to theorize what it must sound like when two European kids decided they should start a black metal band (if you don’t know what that is, click here for a quick lesson). Please read this phonetically for best effect.
Sven: Hey Bjorn, you vanna start a band wis me?
Bjorn: Oh yes, Sven. I vood Luff to. Vat kinds of Muzicks should we play?
Sven: Well, I vant to be extreme. I vant to scare and excite ze peoples.
Bjorn: Oh, I noez! We shall cover oon-selves with black and white makeups, like fierce panda bearz!
Sven: Un yes! Un yes! And ve vill vear vests adorned wiff many shiny spikes, and shall name ourselv somesing that we deliberately spell wrong….
Bjorn: Oh, and a crazy, spiky font vill be used for said name, yes?
Bam, the birth of black metal.
Also, black metal fans, please refrain from writing me and telling me how dangerous and insane these bands really are. I get it, they burn down churches and shit. Oh no, not that. Truth is, if I lived in Eastern Europe I would probably be bored as hell and doing the same stupid shit. Anyway, enough of that, here are ten inexplicably hilarious black metal photos I will present completely out of context and do my very best to roast and skewer.