Apples have three tiers of symbolism in movies, and I figured now would be a good time to share that with my people. You either have symbolism 1, which is forbidden fruit, which goes back to biblical roots. You have symbolism 2, which is to show unwavering self-confidence bordering on cockiness. And finally, symbolism 3, which is my favorite. Why is it, any time you see a bad guy in a movie eating an apple, they are always slicing it with a knife and eating the apple slices off the blade? I have eaten apples my whole life, and around a bunch of different crowds, some much more surly than others. Yet, do you know how many times I have seen someone eat an apple off a knife in real life? Exactly none. While normally, this would lead me to assume the movies are lying to me once again, I am thinking the exact opposite. REAL LIFE is fucking up this time. If being badass in movies means slicing and eating an apple off a blade, wouldn’t doing that in REAL LIFE be equally badass? And if I have never seen it, doesn’t that mean it will be that much MORE badass the first time someone actually witnesses it? Honestly, I think from this moment forth I will be THAT guy. I will ALWAYS eat my apples off of blades. Sorry, got off track, back to the apples and symbolism and stuff.
I was lucky enough to discover marijuana as a means of self-medication very young, and for twenty years now, I have partaken in the glory of the herb. Experiencing its many benefits, while also introducing me to a subculture of people who thought and lived like I did. Artists, writers, musicians, all who live on the fringe and know the miraculous powers of this plant. What this also means is I have been going to head shops and smoke shops for twenty years now, too. I have seen it all. The mega stores that are huge, but half the staff are self-righteous pricks who don’t know anything. The smoke shops that think they have evolved with the times but are still selling plastic bongs as good rigs. The smoke shops that you can tell are clearly just a cover for something far more nefarious. The fact of the matter is, there is no lack of smoke shops in the current age, but there are a lack of GOOD ones. Thankfully, I recently discovered Underground Culture in Tiverton, Rhode Island, and it changed how I feel about smoke shops. Plus, don’t just write this place off as a smoke shop. They have a sick graffiti and street art section, and a staff that truly know what the fuck they are talking about and clearly are passionate an educated about their field. All I am saying is, I don’t shill for products or places, as my REMlins know. But for me to say this place is worth the trip, this place is worth the trip.
Article Concept by REMlin Fabian Luis Vazquez
So last week, I asked my REMlins on my Facebook page what they would want to see as an article more than anything on my site. Though I got a shitload of good ideas from some really sharp minds, there was one that really stood out to me in concept. All he had posted was: why Idiocracy is the scariest movie ever made, and I was sold. I knew exactly where he was coming from with pitch alone, and thought the idea really had some legs. Though Idiocracy was squarely satire when this Mike Judge movie came out in 2006, in the last nine years, a freakish amount of things in the film have actually come true. At this point, in fact, so much of it HAS come true that we have to wonder, will the rest of it come true, too? If that is the case, yes, Idiocracy is the scariest f*cking movie ever made. And trust me, I know f*cked up movies.
Oh Remy, you are so cynical and such a nihilist, some say to me. Can’t you ever talk about nice things? Things that make people smile and feel safe and warm their souls? Well, I do, but no one notices. What those people mean, in simple terms is, Remy, I am fucking scared. Can you stop holding up a mirror to my ugly life and revealing how truly imperfect it is, as I would rather be numb to that fact. In other words, they are basically saying, distract me. They want to escape here and have it be like a Disney. They don’t want to think, to learn to question. They want Buzzfeed polls that tell THEM what their favorite color is. They want pretty pictures that encourage no thinking, but instead, encourage the opposite. Safe mindlessness. The mental equivalent of a warm bath. So finally, I decided, give those fuckers what they want. I mean, who doesn’t love puppies? And maybe this will get them off my dick for a while.
Who goes to Hell willingly? That is the question you need to ask yourself before you read this. I have an answer, but you have to wait until the end for it. To start off, there are basically two types of people on this Earth. Those who recognize the darkness and acknowledge it, and those who pretend it doesn’t exist. I am one of the former. My whole life has been a shit show. Here is but one example. I find comfort in dark and disturbing movies, because they show me lives that are worse than mine. They show me people who have had it way worse than me. They remind me, even when I end up in situations like this, my life could be one million times worse. So back when I started writing, I decided I was going to make it my goal to find the 100 most disturbing movies ever made, and to watch them all. I stretched them out across three years, because to watch these films close together or back-to-back I genuinely believe could do some real damage. Not even kidding you. We are talking about baby rape and shit like that. We aren’t talking about horror cinema, specifically. We are going miles below that. We are talking about the most undeniably, unquestionably, unflinchingly disturbing stuff ever thought up, so walk away if you soul is tender and brittle, because you won’t last a minute into this piece. For the rest of you who are drawn to dark and disturbing cinema, let’s talk, shall we? Like Kid Cudi says, I love the dark, maybe we can make it darker, give me a marker….