Watching Montage of Heck is one hell of an exhausting experience. Whereas most music documentaries that show the life of an artist after they died offer us a glimpse into that person’s world, Montage of Heck (about Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain) does way more than that. If most music documentaries peel back the curtain and allow you to look in on a life you would never understand, Montage of Heck goes one step further. It doesn’t just pull back the curtain. It undresses you and places you in a bathtub with Kurt, Courtney, and their newborn child. It animates parts of Kurt’s personal diaries and shows us things we probably NEVER should have seen or heard and have no right, by his standards anyway, of ever seeing or hearing. It is goes so deeply into his life and mind, that, by the end, you feel like you have lost a bit of your soul with him. An amazing documentary, but in some ways, one of the saddest and most disturbing movies I have ever seen, and one that ultimately has NO RIGHT existing, even if I feel like I needed to see it.
I am just gonna go out on a limb here and say of all the people you NEVER want to fuck over, you should put writers at the top of that list. They are the one people who actually have voices that get heard. And a writer is like an elephant (in more ways than one) because we remember. Hell, even our own downfalls make great stories, so nothing is safe or sacred. With that out-of-the-way, I decided it was time to tell you all a story that will melt your fucking faces. You know my true stories are always pretty twisted, and I stand behind them all 100%, with this example having been shared with some close friends after it happened, so anyone who may doubt its authenticity, I have references. Hell, SHE openly admitted it to people after it happened, like she fed off it. While most people can say they consider an ex or two evil, you ever walked in on one of yours in a pitch black room, naked and pale, trying to feed ham to a creature she was referring to as “the master?” Yeah, didn’t think so, but I do. Also, note, no names will be dropped, so legally, my ass is covered. But man, this will go up hers sideways.
Apples have three tiers of symbolism in movies, and I figured now would be a good time to share that with my people. You either have symbolism 1, which is forbidden fruit, which goes back to biblical roots. You have symbolism 2, which is to show unwavering self-confidence bordering on cockiness. And finally, symbolism 3, which is my favorite. Why is it, any time you see a bad guy in a movie eating an apple, they are always slicing it with a knife and eating the apple slices off the blade? I have eaten apples my whole life, and around a bunch of different crowds, some much more surly than others. Yet, do you know how many times I have seen someone eat an apple off a knife in real life? Exactly none. While normally, this would lead me to assume the movies are lying to me once again, I am thinking the exact opposite. REAL LIFE is fucking up this time. If being badass in movies means slicing and eating an apple off a blade, wouldn’t doing that in REAL LIFE be equally badass? And if I have never seen it, doesn’t that mean it will be that much MORE badass the first time someone actually witnesses it? Honestly, I think from this moment forth I will be THAT guy. I will ALWAYS eat my apples off of blades. Sorry, got off track, back to the apples and symbolism and stuff.
I was lucky enough to discover marijuana as a means of self-medication very young, and for twenty years now, I have partaken in the glory of the herb. Experiencing its many benefits, while also introducing me to a subculture of people who thought and lived like I did. Artists, writers, musicians, all who live on the fringe and know the miraculous powers of this plant. What this also means is I have been going to head shops and smoke shops for twenty years now, too. I have seen it all. The mega stores that are huge, but half the staff are self-righteous pricks who don’t know anything. The smoke shops that think they have evolved with the times but are still selling plastic bongs as good rigs. The smoke shops that you can tell are clearly just a cover for something far more nefarious. The fact of the matter is, there is no lack of smoke shops in the current age, but there are a lack of GOOD ones. Thankfully, I recently discovered Underground Culture in Tiverton, Rhode Island, and it changed how I feel about smoke shops. Plus, don’t just write this place off as a smoke shop. They have a sick graffiti and street art section, and a staff that truly know what the fuck they are talking about and clearly are passionate an educated about their field. All I am saying is, I don’t shill for products or places, as my REMlins know. But for me to say this place is worth the trip, this place is worth the trip.
Article Concept by REMlin Fabian Luis Vazquez
So last week, I asked my REMlins on my Facebook page what they would want to see as an article more than anything on my site. Though I got a shitload of good ideas from some really sharp minds, there was one that really stood out to me in concept. All he had posted was: why Idiocracy is the scariest movie ever made, and I was sold. I knew exactly where he was coming from with pitch alone, and thought the idea really had some legs. Though Idiocracy was squarely satire when this Mike Judge movie came out in 2006, in the last nine years, a freakish amount of things in the film have actually come true. At this point, in fact, so much of it HAS come true that we have to wonder, will the rest of it come true, too? If that is the case, yes, Idiocracy is the scariest f*cking movie ever made. And trust me, I know f*cked up movies.