I have said it before and will say it again. Real life horror greatly trumps anything you would ever see in a horror movie. If evil people turned into wolves in real life, it would make things a lot easier. If all the bad guys wore masks and didn’t speak, it would be that much easier to spot them, and ultimately, stay away from them. Sadly, real life is not like that. Sometimes, in real life, the killer is the quiet guy who lives next door. Sometimes, in real life, bad things happen to very good people, for no reason. I Survived BTK is a documentary that shines a light one such event. One example of some very bad things happening to some good people, for no good reason. The film acts like a punch to the gut, and every time you catch your breath, the movie hits you again. I will warn you, though it is powerful and merits a viewing, do so at your own risk, because you can’t erase some of these things from your mind once you experience them. This is pain and sadness on an epic scale, and maybe can only be touched by one other article I have ever written. Get ready to meet Charlie Otero. The man who survived BTK, but maybe wishes he hadn’t.
The best thing about Breaking Bad, outside of every single thing about the show is, watching Walter White’s inevitable transformation into his drug-dealing alter ego,Heisenberg. Though the transformation had initially been a slow process, once he had tasted life as that character, it changed the whole dynamic of the show AND Walter White. We went from seeing Walter White as this victim of bad luck and a bad life on Breaking Bad, to seeing him as an anti-hero. A guy willing to go to any lengths to do the best thing he can for his family. While his original intent may have become watered down over time (tragedies have a tendency to do that to the best of us), I truly believe there is a KEY moment in season two where you can see the Heisenberg character fully take over. I am sure you all know the exact moment I am talking about, but please, let me talk about it anyway.
I make no attempts to hide my adoration for Kid Cudi. I genuinely believe that many people don’t give his music a chance, simply because they may not like “hip hop”, but in doing that, they do themselves a great injustice. Reality is, you can mark a moment when Kanye West went from rapper and producer into arty-musical-genius, and it is NO coincidence that he switched over right after doing a song with Cudi, stealing his whole steez. Yes, I just said Kanye West is famous because he stole his sound and style from Kid Cudi, and I mean that. My Dark and Twisted Fantasy would have NEVER happened and never sounded like it had if the Man on the Moon album hadn’t done it all first. That is its own article, so I digress for now. My point for saying that was, ya’ll are paying attention to the wrong dude. There is no one in rap right now, and honestly, very few people in music altogether, who have the ambition, passion, and talent that Kid Cudi has. I went to his Cud Life Tour in Boston last Friday night, already a fan, but I left completely awestruck. Not only was it one of the best shows I have ever been to, but I can tell you, without question, that there are very few artists alive right now who put what Kid Cudi does into his music. Don’t forget, this is me we are talking about, so you know some insane shit went down, too.
What defines a guilty pleasure is a movie you KNOW is kind of bad (or atleast most people consider it bad), and you KNOW, deep down, you shouldn’t like, yet every time it is on, you feel the need to sit and watch it in its entirety. You know what I am talking about? You are skimming the channels on a lazy Sunday, and you come across one of these films, and even though you KNOW you should turn it off, you just cannot bring yourself to do it. As much as I normally pride myself on recommending good movies to you, this post is not about recommendation. No, rather, this post is about me revealing that as I am human as anyone else, and from time to time, I have really liked some less-than-stellar films. But that, to me, is the beauty of film. It is an ever-changing, ever-evolving medium, and just because something is bad or has some flaws, doesn’t mean you can’t like it. Hell, you’re here, which means you like me, and I am ALL flaws. Holy shit, it just hit me, I am the “guilty Pleasure” of websites. Wow, that is profound.
When people who know nothing about me ask what my site is “about” (as if it is a fucking book or something), I tell them it is a liberal mix of pop culture observations and some truly embarrassing true stories about myself. It hit me this weekend that I hadn’t told you guys an insane true story about me in a long time, and all this GTA talk reminded me of a very dark period in my life I don’t reflect on much. I know that seems like an odd setup, but hear me out. If I told you about my life between 22 and 27 years old, you would probably want to bleach your soul. More fucked up shit would happen to me in your average day than would affect most people in a year. But, the more I allow myself to “go there”, the more likely I will be to let those scars finally pucker and heal, itching be damned. That being said, this story is the kind of situation where, if they put it into a movie, people would claim it was “too much”, yet it happened to me, and happened EXACTLY like I am telling you here. I wish this was all bullshit. I wish I was making this shit up, but, this is my life. This is honestly, my fucking life.
Is Grand Theft Auto 5 perfect?
Yes it is.
There are always casualties in war. That is just how war works. But it seems, all too often, the casualties are the ones not fighting. The innocent ones who chose to stay along the sidelines and not involve themselves. You can launch a mortar shell at your enemies, but that doesn’t mean you won’t hit the baby stroller in between you and them. And that is what too many people in Gotham City have felt like for far too long. The baby stroller sitting precariously between Batman and the Joker as they wage their war. normal people, hiding inside their own homes, afraid to go out, to bring their children to the park or for a walk out of fear some madman in a costume will want to use them as an example. It starts boiling, you know? Under the surface. First you see the steam, then you hear the whistling of the kettle, but by the time you reach it, it has already boiled over. It was that humid Summer night in Gotham city when it all finally boiled over, and one man used one single bullet to end a war that, up to this point, had too many casualties to count. This is the story of the man who killed the Joker.
In keeping with my long line of alliteration articles about sex (silly sex here) and (sick sex here), I decided I should write an article about sex scenes that are ACTUALLY sexy. It is almost easier to stand on the sidelines and point at the sex scenes that stand out for being odd or different, but there is something undeniably vulnerable about sitting and sharing sex scenes that you actually find arousing. It is like letting you all in, a little bit deeper, one thrust at a time. See what I mean? I am feeling vulnerable already, so I am taking away the power of sex by joking about it and undermining it. I am doing that as a human, but I need to realize that, as a writer, that is counter-productive to what I am trying to achieve with the article, so I should UP the sexy right now to get you all in the mood for the piece.
*Puts on some Barry White music and points at his bulge
That is, literally, all I can do. Sorry if it not working for you. But you know what MIGHT work for you? These scenes.
Can you, even for a moment, imagine what it would be like to hang out with one of the members of the Wu-Tang Clan? Each member is unique and badass for different reasons. And more than just hanging out with them, can you imagine what it would be like to light up with a member of the Wu-Tang? Last time I waxed philosophical about what it would be like to hang out and get stoned with one of the modern rock greats, so this time, my mind naturally went to one of the hip hop greats. And as much as I would love to blaze with Jay-Z or Kanye, truth is, in my honest opinion, RZA is on a whole different level and planet than most, and I mean that as a compliment. Some see him as just a rapper or writer, but the truth is, RZA is a whole lot more than that. Dude is a living legend, and though I know most would pick Method Man if they could smoke with one member of Wu-Tang (or if they had a time machine, ODB), I pick RZA, aka Prince Rakeem, aka The Abbot, aka Bobby Digital, aka Prince Delight, aka Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig-Allah. Why? Because he is one of the greatest modern artists alive right now. Hip Hop’ true Renaissance man.
I know a great many of my readers turn to me for horror recommendations. It has sort of become my go-to thing. More than the Disney trip from hell, or the guy who killed a guy and then came to work, people ask me about scary movies. And they all want me to tell them horror films they have not seen, which makes it hard because I am not a complete psychic who can know the entirety of your film collection just by looking at you. But regardless of all that, I take it as a huge compliment. I take it was people’s way of saying I (at least, somewhat) know what I am talking about, which is always nice to hear. And though we are but a few weeks away from my heralded “Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2013″ list, I thought I would give my REMlins something to tide ya’ll over. Some sick little flicks, available for stream on Netflix, right now. No waiting or wondering. As soon as this article is done, you can go to Netflix and watch any of these, right now. Side note, if or when any of these films are taken off Netflix, please let me know so I can adjust and update the list. Thanks kids!