Holy shit, I made it. 365 days later, and I am still here. Not only am I here, but I think I’ve done pretty well for myself, actually. Considering that roughly 350 new blogs pop up every minute or so on WordPress (actual stat, not something I made up), the fact I somehow have amassed one million, six hundred readers in that time is beyond my grasp. To say I am appreciative to all of you is an understatement. I am BEYOND grateful to all of you. Before this, I was just some guy who liked to talk about random shit, and now I am Remy Carreiro. As if you all helped me earn my name, as crazy as that sounds. And no matter what it was, from the tragic story of Keanu Reeves life, to my theories on backwards domestic abuse, no matter what insane thing I babbled about, you guys came and for some odd, awesome reason, stuck around. So now, allow me a sort of director’s cut, behind the scenes, for all of you. And again, even though I said, I will say it again (and again), thank you. You guys are the shit.
Ah, sweet alliterations. I know thee well. This time, I found myself reflecting on some scenes of coitus I had seen on the big screen, that were not sexy at all. Not scary, mind you, but sort of fumbling and awkward, like real sex can be sometimes. We all want to pretend that we look like Greek statues when we are clapping the skins, but most of us know better. And most of us are aware that sex is not always good. Sometimes, it can be messy and awkward. Well, almost ALWAYS it’s at least a little messy, but you get my point. Here are six sex scenes that were not afraid of showing us just how silly sex can be, from time to time.
Well, it’s not technically divorce, but rather, emancipation. And as you will see from a few of these examples, it is not always because their parents are shitty or the kids trying to protect their money. In some cases, becoming your own legal guardian loosens up the child labor laws associated with kids working, which means the actor or actress are then free to take any roles they want, regardless of how much time is expected or location. But, in some other cases, it is because these kids have shitty parents, and outside of killing them, this was their best option. Safe to say if I was my own guardian, I would already be dead, three times over. These five seemed to fare much better than that. For the most part. But not really, though.
When was the last time you saw someone who scared you? And I don’t mean because they were carrying an axe, or dislocating their jaw to swallow a newborn whole. I mean based solely on how they looked? And I also want to stress, not because they intentionally tried to look scary, but because there was just something mutant-esque about them. And I don’t mean cool X-Men style mutants. No, I mean like “I might have a baby arm growing out of my back” mutants. The kind of person who blinks sideways, like some Men in Black cast off. Well, I’ll tell you right now, the people on this list scare the shit out of me, yet I am partially sure it would hurt their feelings if they found it out. In other words, there are no Marilyn Manson’s on this list. Nope, sad goth kids all grown up don’t scare me. Weird f*cking albino’s scare me. Like, for example….
Did you know Spring is the time when suicide rates are at their highest? Most people like to think it would be February (that great, gray beast), or maybe the middle of Summer, but no. And it is actually LOWEST around Christmas, despite whatever may cause you to think otherwise. And because I am insane and equate spring with death and not birth, I thought this would be an awesome time to talk about cinematic suicides that had an impact on me. I also knew this was the necessary next step in my series of alliteration articles, which is now two entries deep. Also, I wanted to take the time to say I am not in any way glamorizing suicide here. Quite the opposite, really. Sometimes, even in the case of cinema, we can see just how deeply these moments affect those around us, and maybe that will be enough to deter some people who oft (justifiably) feel trapped in a world of sadness. I also wanted to write this list to show how delicately suicide is handled, even in cinema. It is taboo and it is heart breaking, but in the same breath, it is all around us, and these moments, sadly and astutely, remind us of that.