I just wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a happy and safe July 4th. Last thing we need is a repeat of last year, right? With Uncle Phil falling into the grill again, and Aunt Sally getting wasted and trying to argue the merits of pubic hair with the whole family. Man, none of that. But I do hope you all realize what this great day is about. It is about every other holiday we have in Summer. It is about getting drunk outside and eating grilled food until you can’t stand your friends or relatives anymore. It is about wearing patriotic colors around people who also agreed to wear patriotic colors. It is about your freedom someone else earned for you through unnecessary blood shed so you can act like a complete asshole to everyone you know, regardless of consequence. It is about embracing the very roots of freedom and expelling them from the bare Earth with your naked hands, whilst screaming MURICA as loud as you can over Skynyrd songs. Oh, and don’t forget them fancy-ass fireworks. What would the fourth be without jarring explosions? Yay, America!