As it is, by the time Christmas day roles around, most Christmas songs are like needles driven directly into the center of your brain. The first few weeks they come around, they are like that cool uncle you don’t see enough and you want to catch up with. But by the end of Xmas, Christmas songs are the drunken uncle you just want to kick out of your house before he shames himself. But even from the first day, there are a few Christmas songs that really have no place still being in rotation this season. Every year I like to do a dissection of some familiar holiday tradition and point out just how f*cked up it is. Last year, I ruined the Frosty cartoon for you, and this year, you can add two songs to that list. One that is super rapey, and one that is super shallow, each representing a gender during a time period we all pretend we want to go back to, but these very songs help prove we don’t.
Nobody has a “normal” family anymore, so if you are reading this feeling like you can’t relate to what it may potentially say, you might just be a tad bit dishonest with yourself. The dysfunctional family IS the blueprint for neo-family now. Normal as it was once defined (by 1950 standards) just doesn’t exist anymore. Not saying all families are split up, or all families have molesty uncles, because such is not the case. Just saying that at your modern family gathering, things are not quite like they were once upon a time. Times have changed, and we can even see that reflecting itself in how the modern family has been represented on the silver screen. Gone are the Bradys, replaced by the Griswolds, and do you know why this is? Because that is REALLY how it is now. Also, we should not forget just how fucked up they were behind-the-scenes on the set of The Brady Bunch. They were all fucking and getting high, so even back then, normalcy was just a veneer. At least now we are honest with ourselves enough to strip that away and admit we are all a little fucked up and “normal” is out the window. Here are 5 movie families who may thrive on dysfunction, but they may be more like your own family than you know (or want to openly admit).
2014 was a strange year for film. We got some big name movies that actually delivered engrossing experiences (which seems very rare the larger the scale of the movie these days) while some of the best films that came and went are movies most haven’t even heard of (Predestination much?). Great films that slipped between the cracks in the couch to make room for all the big, expensive movies that no one wanted to see. There is definitely something for every type of cinephile on this list, and if you see a movie listed here you have not seen, I suggest you do all in your power to change that as quickly as possible.
Some of these are funny, some of them are smart, some are edgy, and one might even be considered”cute”, but out of the 365 movies I watched this year (a movie a day, baby), these are the ten that stuck with me the most. To anyone freaking out why there isn’t more horror on the list, remember, horror gets its own top ten at the end of the year. This will have to do for now, my REMlins.
Please note, HUGE YEAR for science fiction, which I did predict. Just saying.
I should start this all with the word ALLEGEDLY. We have to leave it as ALLEGEDLY. I am not writing this to speculate whether or not what Shia LeBeouf said was true. To theorize on whether a rape happened or didn’t happen is not something I will tread upon. What I will do is tell you what Shia told Dazed magazine in a rather raw and (seemingly) honest interview. Though the whole thing is quite revelatory, the thing that stood out most to me was what he said about something that he claims occurred during one of the night’s of his “performance artist” bit out in L.A. You know, the one where Shia would sit alone in a room and let strangers come in and do and say whatever they want? Yes, during THAT show. Pretty sure he didn’t think “being sexually assaulted” would be one of those things.
Or is this all a ruse to create more hype around the troubled star? Again, I won’t speculate on that. I wasn’t there and have none of the facts other than what he says. I will simply relay to you the story he told, as it is quite shocking.
Allegedly, Shia LeBeouf got raped during his art show.
Commence Remy rant:
Before you read this, keep in mind, I am not here to condemn something that has helped me in my life. Social media has helped me reach audiences I never would have otherwise, and I am grateful for that. But I am also not going to pull a veil over what it has become. Much in the same way someone who worked at a mall long enough could eventually tell where someone was going to shop based solely on how they look, I have become quite accustomed to social media and the quirks of its many inhabitants. Though social media may have been all fun and games when it first rose to popularity in the mid 2000’s (not counting the Friendster and MySpace trends that came years before Facebook and Twitter), the shiny veneer has been slowly stripped away, and we now we know that Facebook has truly become Fakebook. It is not just a direct attack on that site, as, it has done much for me. Not an attack on the site itself as it is an examination of the evolution of how people have come to use it. Where once, it seemed social media was a great place to meet up with old friends and to network and find new ones, it has become something far more dangerous than that. It seems it sole purpose for existing now is to make everyone feel worse about their lives comparatively to everyone else. The problem here does not lie in social media, though.
The hardest part to accept about this is that the problem lies in us. We are doing this to each other.