Site is all fucked up, can’t post pics and having a great deal of trouble trying to get posts up, so bear with me for a bit, guys and gals. I haven’t abandoned the site, just need to go stab my webmaster. Just kidding, my webmaster!
*Keeps sharpening knife
In the meantime, here is a video of a Jake from Adventure Time singing about bacon pancakes for ten hours.
That should keep you busy for a bit.
The best part is the song is ALSO the recipe! Good luck getting this out of your head now, by the way.
I was totally sitting down to write an article about suicide. About how, without a doubt, someone you love, at some point in your life, is going to kill themselves. I was going to tell you how there is LITERALLY nothing you could do to change that, and to just steady yourself for it a bit makes the impact less world-shattering. I was prepared to fill you in on statistics, and let you know that thirty-eight percent of all car accidents are actually suicide attempts. But then I remembered that I asked you if you could kill a kid yesterday. You can’t follow-up a “Could you kill a child” article with a “someone you love will inevitably kill themselves” article, because that is just too heavy. So I decided, last-minute, to make this an article full of cute ass puppies, lest someone call me and ask if I need a hug. Which, by the way, I do. Honestly, you gotta give the masses a moment to “squee” now and then, lest you lose them to the darkness.
Seriously, fuck this shit.
First off, I need to stress none of these pizzas are fake, doctored, or made up. Every single pizza I am about to feature is a real pizza you can get at various Pizza Hut locations from around the world. The real winners seem to come from Pizza Hit Middle East, for some reason. If you do not believe me, click here and go to the actual site yourself. While I do not intend to say anything offensive about anyone’s culture, because I love everyone, I cannot even fathom how much weed you would need to smoke to invent pizzas this insane. There are desert pizzas. There are pizzas that have OTHER FOOD in them. This is the kind of stuff Shaggy and Scooby ate on Scooby Doo, when they would dump the entire contents of a refrigerator into a sandwich and then dislocate their jaws to swallow said sandwiches whole. Except, instead of it all being stacked on bread, it is shoved inside a pizza crust. No, seriously. Funny thing is, I am pretending this all looks gross to me, but there is some sick, sadistic side of me that wants to try a few of these. Be prepared to have your mind blown by some of these. Keep a drool bib and a puke bucket nearby, just in case, though. Some of these do get pretty weird.