Why is NO ONE talking about this right now? It seems pretty major news for us all to just ignore. Are we ignoring it because it is so insane that, to even humor it, makes US seem retarded? Or are we not talking about it because in some insane way, it seems like it could MAYBE make sense? Either way, Michael Douglas just came out and said that he got throat cancer from eating pussy, and that same thing that GAVE him the throat cancer, H.P.V, also KILLED the throat cancer. I am sorry, but I just can’t leave this one alone yet. It is one of those things where my mind just keep saying “wtf” over and over in my head. Let’s explore this a bit, shall we? Not with our tongues, though. Atleast not until we know more. Just kidding. Eat away, my friends, Michael Douglas is either right or wrong, but if you are that intent on eating pussy, this probably won’t change your mind.
Flashback about seven years. I am working my old job at the laser tag arena (yes, seriously) and I am just standing around, minding my own business, most likely high off my ass. Suddenly and out of the blue, a cute (but rather young) girl runs over and grabs my black gel bracelet I am wearing, and tears it off, my wrist, while looking me in the eyes and grinning. I, being irrational and having no clue about much of anything, look down at my bracelet, now ripped in two in her hand, and I say: WHAT THE FUCK?! She looks terrified, and runs off down the hall, and out the exit. My friend Sara, who was working that day, too, walks over and proceeds to tell me that girl wanted to fuck me, and ripping off my black bracelet was her way of telling me that. I sat there, dumbfounded. Now I was never one to shy away from some sex, especially on the off-chance it happens THAT easily, but in the same breath, the girl was obviously younger than me, and as lazy as I am, you must be THIS TALL to ride this ride, if you know what I mean. But it hit me a minute later how extremely messed up this bracelet thing is. So gone is the need for young people to even say anything, now they can just break each others things as a sort of next level “grunting” until sex happens? Jesus Christ, what is wrong with the young generation? What pay off is there in that, anyway? Also, everyone is disgusting, and this shit needs to stop. I know I sound old, but in the same breath, I would rather sound old than sound like this current generation of teens who indiscriminately want to fuck like rabbits. Yes, sex is fun. But when sex boils down to breaking a bracelet, something is wrong with this world.
Remember when Khal Drogo tore that shit up? Well, a great deal of us were walking to the kitchen to make a sandwich, because we were watching with our Dads.
There are various ways we can experience a sex scene in a movie, and each way we experience it yields a genuinely different reaction from us. Under the right circumstances, it can further the story and give the movie a much-needed shot to the arm. Also, it can be enjoyable to watch two attractive people screw each others brains out. We can all shake our heads, and people can act like what I just said was offensive, but we all know you wouldn’t kick Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake out of bed for eating crackers, if you know what I mean. But there are many elements that factor into how you experience a sex scene. From who you are with to where you are all factor in. The following list breaks down all the odd scenarios you can find yourself in when a sex scene comes on in a film you are watching, and some solid proof that you reactions are not only justified, but you are not alone in them. We have ALL been there at one time or another. Not sure if we should feel aroused or terrified, but pretty sure we are feeling both at once. And much like the title implies, the worst scenario of all is……