Can you, even for a moment, imagine what it would be like to hang out with one of the members of the Wu-Tang Clan? Each member is unique and badass for different reasons. And more than just hanging out with them, can you imagine what it would be like to light up with a member of the Wu-Tang? Last time I waxed philosophical about what it would be like to hang out and get stoned with one of the modern rock greats, so this time, my mind naturally went to one of the hip hop greats. And as much as I would love to blaze with Jay-Z or Kanye, truth is, in my honest opinion, RZA is on a whole different level and planet than most, and I mean that as a compliment. Some see him as just a rapper or writer, but the truth is, RZA is a whole lot more than that. Dude is a living legend, and though I know most would pick Method Man if they could smoke with one member of Wu-Tang (or if they had a time machine, ODB), I pick RZA, aka Prince Rakeem, aka The Abbot, aka Bobby Digital, aka Prince Delight, aka Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig-Allah. Why? Because he is one of the greatest modern artists alive right now. Hip Hop’ true Renaissance man.
Excuse me, kids, but why the fuck do you all have shorts on in Winter?
Christmas is a magical time of year, when we shuffle around, from store to store, spending our hard-earned money on people who realistically won’t like what we get them anyway. When we are not driving onto curbs to avoid “holiday lunatics”, or fighting our way through a store to get someone the “next big thing”, we all do our best to rekindle our innocence by watching the same holiday specials, over and over again, every year. We say we do it because we love them. But that is not why we do it. We watch them on the off-chance they will rekindle our faith in humanity, or perhaps give us back some of that innocence and purity we had in us when we first saw them as a child. The word is nostalgia, and at no time is that feeling more in the air than at Christmas time. But as you get older, and more and more of you dies inside, you begin to notice things in these specials you never noticed before. The following things I learned in horror last week, watching Frosty again, only this time through different eyes. Bitter, jaded eyes. Prepare to have your mind blown. Or to laugh at me. It will definitely be one or the other and no in-betweens.