How this guy looks is how I feel after watching these films. Retarded.
Disclaimer: retarded people are my favorite kind of person.
I love horror movies so much, obviously, I don’t like to talk badly about them. It takes a ridiculous amount of work to get a horror film done, from script to execution, and I don’t take pride in standing on the sidelines, tossing my opinion out, when all people are doing, even when they fail, is showing love for the genre. But in some cases, horror movies are just SO f*cking bad, I can’t make excuses for them. I cannot validate them, or even find one nice thing to say. In examples like the films on this list, these movies were SO BAD, they actually made me dumber. I tried to eat cereal with a fork today, and I am pretty sure Wrong Turn 5 is to blame for that. Now I fully realize some readers are going to take to the comments and leave me something witty, along the lines of: watching a movie like Wrong Turn 5, what did you expect? But understand, this is a genre I love. Even when the films are bad, I will do my best to find something that is likable, or atleast admirable about their attempt. So I watch it all: The good, the bad, The old, and the extreme. But the films on this list, these films are like being eyeball raped, and then having a screwdriver shoved up your nose until you are too stupid to know they are actually bad films. Not even bad films. These are celluloid miscarriages. Movies so bad, you wish you could punch the director in his face as a child. Okay, went way to far on that last one. I see that. See, you see what these movies did to me? I am like some sort of retarded, wild-animal now.
It’s been a really interesting year for horror movies so far. Granted, we are only a few months away from the end of the year, so I probably could have waited a few months, but the line between the great horror films, and the terrible horror films is already so divided, that it needs to be discussed. Some of the horror films I have seen this year have truly dropped my jaw and redefined the genre for me. While a few others were so poorly executed, I wondered how they ever got the green light in the first place . I also feel the need to say that horror means many different things to different people. So just because kids getting kidnapped isn’t horror to you (maybe you need torture-porn and monsters or something), or CG werewolves fighting Cg vampires isn’t horror to you, that doesn’t mean these films are not “horror films”, in the genre sense. Having that disclaimer out of the way, now presenting, the best and worst “horror” movies of 2012, so far. Note there are no SyFy channel movies on here. If that were the case, we would all be here for days.