I know a few of you know about this already because I sent it to you or posted it on my Twitter or Facebook, but I feel compelled to bring it up again. Why? Because there is nothing more humbling than a group of faceless strangers dedicating a whole thread (or in this case, two) to the fact that you are, pretty much, the worst writer ever. And such a terrible human in general, that you probably “killed JonBenet Ramsey.” No, I am not kidding. That is just one of the many colorful insults I have had thrown at me because I choose to write on the internet for a living. So basically, I provide a free service, then I stand there as people walk by and tell me how horrible it is. Like I said, if nothing else, humbling. In the case of the SomethingAwful thread, though, it is actually a really entertaining read. Atleast they got creative and had FUN hating me. I suggest you all read on, though. These threads get pretty tasty.
If you set out to be a writer, and go at it with all the determination that most people go after getting laid, on some level or another, you will succeed. If you push hard enough, someone, somewhere, will want to read you and then want to share what you wrote, and that begins the cycle. But, before you choose to step into this lifestyle, there are a few things you need to know. As much as the prospect of being in print is exciting to most writers, you need to ask yourselves if you’re willing to put up with all the bullshit, too. Because, just like with any job, this is a job. And anyone who has ever worked a job can tell you, there are always going to be assholes, no matter where you work. Learning to deal with those assholes is an essential part of this gig. Here are a few pieces of key advice that may help you, or any potential writers you may know, come to grips with the allure (and reality) of what’s it like to try to make it as a “writer”, with a writer being defined (here, now) as someone who gets paid, and can support themselves, with their writing. The truest definition of a writer is someone who writes, but let’s stop being idealists and let’s be realists for just a few moments, shall we?
The first thing I ever tell any music blog or magazine I write for is that I won’t lie. If they are looking for a reviewer who will slather pop artists in compliment and praise just to do it, they are looking at the wrong writer for the job. To me, music is sacred. It is the one thing that saved my life at my darkest moments, and if something sucks to me, I am going to say it. I won’t just say it to be a dick, though. I will say it if I feel it, and I will always give my reasons for that decision. In some cases, though, people hold their pop stars in the same vein as they hold their religious figures, and when you say something even SLIGHTLY negative of their favorite artists, they will let you know you are, literally, the worst person who ever lived and that it would have been better if you died in the womb. No, really, they told me stuff like that. Read on to find out how one review I did Somanymp3s would brew up a shit-storm the likes of which I had never experienced before.