All I wanted to do was sit down with TED and do an interview, but there was a small problem. You see, to be funny, I had my old Teddy Ruxpin set up on the chair, with a mic taped to his hand when TED walked in. And instead of having a laugh about it, TED got really visibly upset, at which point he walked up the Ruxpin and slapped him in the face. And this is when shit got mad real. The Teddy Ruxpin turned its head, even though it hasn’t worked in about ten years, and said: Oh look, an ugly version of me. I was watching this all unfold on a monitor, backstage. I mean, as it was, I was sorta freaked out to interview a talking teddy bear in the first place, but shit went from odd to batshit insane real quick. TED laughed a little, adjusted the tiny tie he had on, and looked square at Ruxpin and said: Alright, you ready to do this, battle for bear supremacy, once and for all? Ruxpin stood up on the chair, looking right at TED and said: Let’s do this, bitch. What happened next, a full-scale rap battle between the two, has been captured here for your reading enjoyment. Beware though, these bears get grimy, and no punches are pulled. Also, shit goes even MORE crazy in that last few minutes, so stick it out. Trust me.