Can you, even for a moment, imagine what it would be like to hang out with one of the members of the Wu-Tang Clan? Each member is unique and badass for different reasons. And more than just hanging out with them, can you imagine what it would be like to light up with a member of the Wu-Tang? Last time I waxed philosophical about what it would be like to hang out and get stoned with one of the modern rock greats, so this time, my mind naturally went to one of the hip hop greats. And as much as I would love to blaze with Jay-Z or Kanye, truth is, in my honest opinion, RZA is on a whole different level and planet than most, and I mean that as a compliment. Some see him as just a rapper or writer, but the truth is, RZA is a whole lot more than that. Dude is a living legend, and though I know most would pick Method Man if they could smoke with one member of Wu-Tang (or if they had a time machine, ODB), I pick RZA, aka Prince Rakeem, aka The Abbot, aka Bobby Digital, aka Prince Delight, aka Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig-Allah. Why? Because he is one of the greatest modern artists alive right now. Hip Hop’ true Renaissance man.
I was playing around with ideas in my head, and decided long ago that this would be a fun column to write, and I am my own boss, so what the fuck, am I gonna tell me I can’t do it? Hell no. I am just (sometimes) lazy and (obviously) a little burnt, so it kept slipping my mind. But for whatever reason, today it came back, so here we are. The first celeb in my “Celebrities I’d Like To Get Stoned With” column has to be Dave Grohl. Not only was this man a part of musical history, but he is one of the last artists in music who seems to actually have balls. He makes music that sounds like the music a band would make in a garage. Do you understand that is how rock is SUPPOSED to sound, because, at the heart of it, that is what rock n’ roll is? He also projects this air of no ego, which is even more mind-blowing considering his legacy in modern music. So, for that reason, I want to get stoned with Dave Grohl.
I should have known the risks you run when you steal your weed from the mafia, but shit doesn’t exactly come with warning labels. I have already explained to you guys how we procured marijuana for a good chink of my high school years in Plymouth, but if you don’t know the story, click the blue letters in that first sentence to read about teenage stupidity at its finest. Anyway, you get your hands on some weed and you smoke it. That is how it worked with my friends. You also need to factor in the fact that, in the nineties, there weren’t as many strains and varieties of marijuana as there is today. There wasn’t even multiple grades. Generally, you found cheap, low-grade weed, or you found skunk. There was no in-between, atleast for us. But on one occasion, my boy snatched up his usual baggy full, and we all wandered into his basement like the stoner clichés we were all slowly becoming, yet we had an experience unlike any before. We smoked our usual copious amounts of marijuana because, for the most part, it was always the same. We would get stupid high. Put on the TV, Eat some food (as in anything not bolted down) and then wander back home when it came time. Well, we gathered together one day and did it like we always did it, and I really didn’t figure out anything was wrong until I realized one of my friends was talking to himself, one was on the floor crying, one looked like he was dying, and one was looking at me like he was going to stab me. That is the moment when I knew something was way off. How we all made it out alive I will never know.
LSD consumption and artistic creation seem to go hand in hand, and with good reason. They are a sort of magical loop, where one feeds the other, feeds the other, feeds the other, and so on. It is a never-ending cycle that has existed, and will continue to, as long as music and art exists. And being an ardent supporter and lover of both music AND hallucinogens, I can’t help but notice a few songs where it seems hallucinogens may have been consumed before the song was created. I realize this is all purely speculation on my part, but that is half the fun of being a writer, taking drugs and speculating on when other people took drugs. In the field of psychology, they would call what I am doing “projecting”, and I am fine with that. Also note, you will find a sort of mad dash between happy songs and dark songs here, and that polarity on this list is intentional, because that is what drugs are like. Amazing one minute, and world destroying the next. That comment will make more sense when you see the recent Syd Barret pic that is posted further down in this article. Buckle up, kids, because we are going deep down the rabbit hole.
You know, for as long as I lived, I never thought this would happen, yet it just happened. In Colorado and Washington, Marijuana was just legalized. Do you understand what this means? Resident of those two states who partake in casual marijuana use no longer have to hide their habit away like some crack head. Sneaking hits near open windows so some shitty samaritan doesn’t call the police. This is a huge moment to be an American. I mean, how many people do you know that smoked weed and then went and shot someone? And how many people smoke weed and then cause a car accident? You never hear about that, because that never happens. And it seems like the world is starting to finally wise up a bit about it. Gone are the 1970′s health class ideals that marijuana is some devil herb that will cause your life to derail. Now, let it be noted that I do not live in either of the states were Marijuana was just legalized, but as voting has shown before, Washington and Colorado are two states that often set the tone for the rest of the Country when it comes to major decisions such as these, so we can only hop that is the case here in Massachusetts. But wait, they yell! It is decriminalized and available for medical consumption there now! Yes, but in Massachusetts there is always fine print.
Get it, Remy the rat?
When you are young, you don’t often factor repercussions into your spontaneous decisions. Well, maybe when YOU were young you did, but I sure as Hell didn’t. I was like one giant id, just focused on meeting my own needs no matter the consequence. This sometimes resulted in me doing stupid things. Stupid things that make for GREAT stories, now, but stupid things, regardless. One such instance was that time my friend and I stole a quarter-pound of marijuana from the local mafia. It really isn’t as gangster as it sounds, though. You see, my friend’s Dad was the one in the mafia, and one day we just walked into the basement, grabbed one of his brown parcel bags, and bolted. My buddy’s rational was: What are they gonna do? Looking back, putting this in print now, I can see how f*cking stupid I was as a kid. Wow. Hindsight really is 20/20.
Hey kids, do you take drugs? Well, you SHOULD! They will instill fake confidence in you that will allow to do things WAY outside of your means. Granted, they may ruin your life if you’re weak-willed and easily broken. And they could totally kill you, too, depending on which ones you do. But if you keep it to the simple drugs, like pot, you should be alright. As a matter of fact, drugs make this post you are about to watch WAY better. Hey, if nothing else, I keep it real.
I know I could have easily just used their real names, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie and Megan Mullally, respectively, but if I had, would you have even cared as much or known who any of them were? Nah, I didn’t think so. Just by opening this article I know you most likely smoke weed, which tells me you stopped reading this a sentence ago and are already watching the video. Well played, man. Well played.
When they are not attending orgies, it seems little kids like to play around in giant piles of cocaine. In my day, we rolled around in giant piles of weed. And as oppose to orgies, we only had threesomes or foursomes. At the most, fivesomes. But still, that really is pretty mild, comparatively. Honestly, just […]