Some days you wake up and you can tell the world has changed. Something is different, you can feel it. And you may not be able to put your finger on it at first, but it always reveals itself eventually. Today, that life-changing event was the elementary school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. I had a day planned filled with writing articles about movies and sex and other such trivial things, and here I sit, in front of my computer, shattered by what has transpired. And as a blogger, what do I do? Do I write out the information about the shooter and post his picture? Do I avoid doing that, so as to ensure that I have nothing do with his infamy and bad-guy acclaim? Do I make a few jokes, or do a post about kittens so that people can seek me out for solace and laughter in this trying time? No, I don’t do any of those things. I do what everyone else in the Country does right now. Religious or not, I offer up a prayer for those children, the survivors and those unlucky enough to have fallen today. I sit and try to wrap my mind around it, all while feeling the crippling loss associated with something so damning. And above all else, I do exactly what everyone else is doing in the world right now: I mourn.
You see, even for those of us who seem like we have something to say about everything, we are speechless.
There is nothing we can do but look on in horror, with complete helplessness. Knowing that so many families lives were ruined and shattered in one single moment is an impossible thing to grasp. You add to that the fact that we are eleven days from Christmas, and you can pretty much guarantee that every year around this time now, those families will feel a crippling sense of loss, only furthered accentuated by the mass celebration of the impending holiday. So I was thinking, you know what I want for Christmas?
To live in a world where elementary schools don’t get shot up.
To live in a world where kids can be safe, anywhere.
Maybe if we all wish for the same thing, we can make it come true.
And in between the wishing, we mourn. Mourn for the families and the unnecessary tragedy. We mourn for the kids who survived, yet will live their lives with fear and sadness now as the result of this. We mourn for the shooter, who was obviously mentally diseased and out of his mind. And we mourn for ourselves, and this world we live in, which more closely resembles Hell than any horror story I have ever read, or any tragedy film I have ever seen.
My heart goes out to everyone in Newtown, Connecticut, and ultimately, in this world today. Because this is loss we all feel, and none of us will ever get over. And we shouldn’t. Some joke that the world may end on December 21st, but in many ways, it already did, earlier today, in Newtown, Connecticut.